“It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘try to be a little kinder‘.” — Aldous Huxley
Practicing kindness toward myself has been the biggest growth opportunity of my life. Being stern with myself has always seemed necessary and normal, but I now recognize that it doesn’t actually help me accomplish my aims — or feel more at ease, which I now see is a prerequisite for success! For that I have the Alexander Technique to thank; learning to be (more) comfortable with being uncomfortable has made it possible for me to be receptive, explore, express, and — MOST importantly — have FUN.
Being okay with feeling awkward was the foundation of learning to dance, taking my first classes at age 29 and progressing from modern dance through swing, blues, and salsa to Argentine tango, while dabbling in 5Rhythms, Nia, and who knows what else. I discovered I could PLAY: in addition to dance, I’ve gotten a kick out of comedy improv, contact improv, getting to know my innards by rolling around on the floor, exploring movement like a baby, sharing games with my students and classes, and acting foolishly in general 🙂
Lightening up is a kindness I offer myself. To be clear: I don’t ALWAYS exercise this option, by default, but I have access to it — on the occasions when I do remember, or I am reminded by a kind friend. “Oh, that’s right, I’m being rather serious about this…” Finding ways to make something less of a big deal is a “general organizing principle” that serves my emotional, mental, and physical well-being, because it makes me receptive to the positive intent of Life. Because I do believe that Life is good, and well-being is the order of the day, and that when I don’t get all “heavy” about the details, l e v i t y shows up!
Huxley, Aldous. 1977. MOKSHA: Writings on psychedelics and the visionary experience (1931-63). New York: Stonehill, p. 291.