Sweetie and I have been mulling over a multitude of options: How should we handle our finances? What kind of lifestyle do we want? What kind of renovations should we make to our current home? Where do we want to live? And, the questions holding up all others is, what does the other one of us want??
Our days have been busy, so no solutions or even discussion were offered for a week. I was feeling at minimum some uncertainty (and at most some concern) over addressing these issues, hoping that soon we could talk things over — and I would know enough of what he wanted to be able to move forward.
Once we got together and were actually talking, though, as I verbalized that I “needed to know what he thought” in order for “us” to move forward, I realized it was a flawed belief. Not flawed in the sense that I didn't need to know his thoughts — but flawed in the sense that I was still operating from an I and a he. I'd been contemplating what *I* thought about what *we* should do, and wondering what *he* thought on the same. I'd been thinking of myself, and of him, as separate entities from Us, and believing that our individual selves had important things to say about what that “us” entity should do. The realization that arose in me is, there isn't an “I” anymore. The independent, singular “me” that's been accustomed to thinking and making decisions, isn't singular anymore. There is no “I” now, there's only a WE.
The reason I married this amazing man is that I wasn't halfway through speaking these words, when I see him smiling and nodding. “Yes,” he says, “that's exactly it! That's what's been true for me, too! There's no longer an 'I' making decisions. Everything comes from 'We'.”
“Well then,” I continue, “since everything we give attention to builds, since thoughts become things and ideas become reality, then this 'we' that we are giving attention to has its own energy. In a sense, it has its own LIFE — it has the power to compel more of what is in line with it, so that it can grow. By its nature it compels and organizes like energy, which means it has INTELLIGENCE! Since this “we” has intelligence, it can tell us what to do!”
He liked that idea 🙂
I've always been a creator. I make up games, stories, tasty things to eat. When I was a maker of things (as a potter), it was obvious that my creations went on to live lives of their own, in other people's hands and cabinets. I still refer to mugs on my shelves by the maker's name: that one's a Sam Chung, this one a Steven Hill. When I stopped making pots, I took solace in believing that the objects I'd made carried on the energy of me, of my life. I thought of them as breadcrumbs that led back to me; they were evidence of where and who I'd been.
What I'm realizing now is that ALL of my creations, be they thought, word, or deed, leave traces and take on a life of their own. They are sparks of creation, and their energy attracts like energy. Sometimes they gather enough energy to materialize, as in a wish fulfilled — to the point where other people can see it, sooner rather than later.
As creations, they are new: they are the leading edge of what's possible. As manifestations of a newer paradigm, doesn't it make sense that they are better organized according to the newest model of what can be imagined? We all know that science evolves when the holders of old ideas die off; the new scientists see as obvious and given what the old guard doubts.
So I'm giving up the doubts of the “I” that's been operating for a long while, in favor of a new “we” that's got new-fangled understanding of how things work. I'm choosing to defer to that new perspective!